I see the light

Notes from December 2016

It has been a long time since I wrote here. I'm sorry. I'm back now. This spring and summer have been mind blowing, now when I think back. I visited my dream place Scotland with one of my friends, went for a mini holiday to Iceland to visit another friend in her natural habitat (teehee), and then I got to spend precious time with my dearest relatives in Finland. I was also lucky enough to go on a weekend trip to my friend in beautiful Amsterdam. How could I ask for a better year? Last year together with this spring were really dark, and I think I'm ready to talk about it here soon. I think I'm ready to expose it to the world, so that it no longer has a hold of me. It feels incredible that I managed to get out of that terrible place, and actually accomplish some dreams. I would like to thank positive thinking. And now, positive thinking in my eyes isn't about trying to be happy all the time. It's about embracing the feelings that come to you.

Hello again, dear blog

Many years later, and I found this place again, so surprised it still existed. A familiar old place with old thoughts that eventually led meto the point where I'm at now. A place of immense growth, happiness (as well as some dark nights of the soul), curiosity. There's no fog around me anymore, clarity, but still some hesitancy.

What I've been enjoying lately is:

• Crocheting, man I wish I found this sooner. I have been so frustrated that knitting is so difficult. Ever since I found out that I'm a manifestor in Human Design (January 2021), it all makes sense! I just need to get my creative urges out quickly. They are a force that lasts for a while only. Crocheting is easy, beautiful and makes me feel good.
• Absolutely loving the community feeling on Instagram. Somany lovely soul connections have been born there (or did they already exist from beforehand)?
• Spending quality time with family, either in person, through texting, oice messages and phone calls. Family means the world to me.
• Knowing that I have this home base where I can retreat back to from my adventures. I've realized that I need safety, but I also need adventure.

Knowing where you're heading

For a long time, for the longest time I have been struggling, internally. I have not understood what it is until now, a few years later. Somehow I have been developing, like when a child goes through the "terrible two's", well yes kind of like that. I read an article somewhere that you go through these developmental phases throughout your whole life, and that is what some people refer to as the different "crisis stages". For some years now, I felt like I was stuck with my feet in concrete and couldn't move. I will write about my lowest point sometime, however I think it will be when I have gotten more distance to it and can also add what I did to get out of it.

As they say, after rain comes sun (actually... who says that?), and in March and April, the weather inside my mind started to clear up a bit, and I suddenly had answers to some of the questions I was asking myself years before. The feeling of realizing that the answers lie within myself is wonderful, now one should trust oneself way more! Following some Buddhist mantras and meditations has definitely helped me to listen to my inner voice more. You could say now, that I listen to my gut feeling more than ever.

This post is a bit foggy, and I think it reflects in me not being out of the fog quite yet. But the good thing is that the sun shines through that fog, and I am so excited to use this platform as a place for hope, motivation and full sensory experience! I can't wait to develop this blog further.

Paying attention to living beings

So often in the city I see birds of some sort, and my first thought is "they must be lost" if they are not doves or seagulls. And then I feel really bad for them for being lost in the concrete jungle (maybe I recognize myself in them?). But then again, the crumbles on the ground must be delicious. That's why I'm in the city too.

Nature's bliss

Melancholy.

This is a place that my colleagues have named as "not beautiful", I cannot comprehend how they don't see what I see. It's awe-some. I was mesmerized when I saw this view, it's like a painting. Maybe they don't look, maybe they are too focused on something else? It's easy to be too distracted these days.

Stay warm y'all

With surprising minus degrees showing up, down here in the "Mediterranean" regions of the Nordics (Denmark), I am feeling utterly blissful. Snowflakes have been falling down two full days in a row now (I'm talking the dry and sweet kind, not the wet slushy slush). I have been breathing minus degree sweet frosty air into my lungs; now I'm telling y'all, that is the best breath you can take. It feels like your body wakes up and realizes that it's alive and functioning. Isn't that what we all need in the midst of this digital madness era we are in? All I see is crooked neck people looking down on their rectangular devices. Wouldn't it be just terrible if evolution happens, and the future homo sapiens has a terribly crooked neck? And the train of thought took off from platform 1.

Anyways. Cold weather also means really appreciating your home, and it's warmth that it provides you. One tends to take that piece of fact for granted most of the time. My biggest dream is to one day have a house with a fireplace, such as the above picture taken at dad's place (grandma's socks ♥).

Welcome new year

New years resolution: Trust your gut feeling, it's there for a reason.

Lunar halo

This photo was taken one night in my beloved Lapland, when my greatest wish was to capture pictures of the northern lights. I thought I saw something green flicker in the sky from the window of my grandparents' house. I ran downstairs, threw warm clothes on my body (literally), and grabbed the kick sled, and rushed towards my childhood hill, where there are less streetlights. There I stood in the middle of the night, under the vast and starlit sky for an hour, feeling really small. It's incredible how small one can feel. And the silence. I have always enjoyed silence, but this was on another level. It was like "I could hear the sounds of the universe silence", and there was only me. I have never felt that lonely in my life, but somehow I quite enjoyed it. During this hour, I snapped some photo's to practice for the eventual green snake to appear in the sky. Then I noticed, whilst I was so busy looking for green signs in the sky, I had missed the awe(!!)some phenomenon occurring right in front of my nose: some kind of lunar rainbow halo! After this shot I decided to sled back home. My fingers and toes were freezing cold from standing still, and this feeling of disappointment spread in my body. I had waited the whole week for northern lights, why wouldn't they show up tonight? The report I had read earlier said that the chance was extra high today. When I passed the outdoors ice rink where I learned to ice skate as a child, I saw something in the corner of my eye. Could it be...?

Walking in wintertime

The lovely feeling when the air is crisp and the sun is shining. In december we don't see much of the sun up here in the North, which makes it extra special when you wake up and see a clear sky. I rushed out after breakfast, and enjoyed a long walk where I stopped every once in a while to feel the warmth of the sun in my face. It was like it caressed me, and told me that nothing matters more than this moment right here and now. Oh sunshine, you are appreciated.

Winter morning

End of autumn

The crisp winter air fills my lungs. Autumn is one of the best seasons with its colors and pretty sunsets, however now begins a new one and I can't wait for minus degrees to come. I'm one of the crazy people who utterly enjoys cold weather. And I don't mean rainy cold blob weather; minus degrees is the best coldness in the world. Maybe it's because I'm from the North ad it makes me feel homey? I don't know.

I feel grateful for life in times of imbalance